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He’s my son.

April 8, 2013

I took about a 4 mile hike this weekend, besides the benefits of calories burned I always find that it clears my head. As I hiked I listened to a few songs on my phone, one was called “He’s my son”, by Mark Schultz. As I listened to the lyrics I found myself overcome with emotion. Here is how it goes:

I’m down on my knees again tonight,
I’m hopin’ this prayer will turn out right.
See, there is a boy that needs your help.
I’ve done all that I can do myself.
His mother is tired, I’m sure you can understand.
Each night as he sleeps she goes in to hold his hand,
and she tries not to cry as the tears fill her eyes.
Can You hear me? Am I getting through tonight?
Can you see him? Can you make him feel all right?
If you can hear me let me take his place some how.
See, he’s not just anyone, he’s my son.
Sometimes late at night I watch him sleep,
I dream of the boy he’d like to be.
I try to be strong and see him through,
But God, who he needs right now is You.
Let him grow old, live life without this fear.
What would I be Living without him here?
He’s so tired, and he’s scared Let him know that you’re there.
Can You hear me? Am I getting through tonight?
Can You see him? Can You make him feel all right?
If you can hear me let me take his place some how.
See, he’s not just anyone, he’s my son.
Can You hear me? Am I getting through tonight?
Can You see him? Can You make him feel all right?
If you can hear me let me take his place somehow.
See, he’s not just anyone.
Can You hear me? Can You see him?
Please don’t leave him,He’s my son.

I can relate to this song in ways that I pray most people will never understand, but it also made me think of other people. Jesus’ mother Mary, for instance. It is inconceivable to me what Mary must have felt as she watched her son be beaten tortured and killed and all for the sake of someone else’s crimes, OURS. Completely inconceivable and heart breaking. Then I think of Hunter Lyons and Gabriel Little, who both struggle with debilitating diseases. I think of how their moms hearts ache for healthy whole young men, and that given the chance they would take on their suffering in a moments notice. As Mother’s there is nothing we wouldn’t do for our kids, even when we disagree with their choices. I find that one of the most difficult tasks of my life is not being an enabler. We were created as women and mothers to be nurturers  and not meeting a need in our child’s life goes against the very grain of how we were designed. But I am learning. Learning to get out of Gods way and let him do what he needs to do. I am learning to trust in his plan even though I truly don’t understand it, to rejoice in circumstances that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy and to thank God for the beauty that he brings from ashes.

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